Dear Bunmi, we have been married for close to seven years and with a six-year-old daughter when my husband started a serious affair.

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All our friends knew about it and his reason was that since I found it difficult to conceive a second time, he was shopping around for a woman who could give him more children.

As luck would have it, I got pregnant last year and my son is now six months old. 

Now he is really loving, caring and attentive. He spoils us all and is generally a good father. 

Unfortunately, I can’t forget the three years of emotional hell he put me through and the humiliation of his action.

Dear Bunmi, will I ever be able to forgive and forget?

Kadijat, by e-mail.

Dear Kadijat,

It is not possible to wipe your memory banks clean of an event by pretending it never happened.

But, it is possible to take away the bad feeling about that event by replacing it with good improved ones.

Stop focusing on how awful your husband was in those years he was looking for another ‘mother’ and thank your stars that it was you that eventually provided the much sought-after child.

Don’t kill a good marriage with resentments. The nightmare is over. Now is the time to enjoy the loving family atmosphere your man provides.