Historically, there has been a popular piece of advice given when you go to college, which is, “Say yes to everything.” As you pack up your IKEA moving bags and say your goodbyes to hometown friends and family, it is nearly guaranteed that at least one person will mention this saying. That could be anyone from your orientation leader or some random extended family member at your graduation party whose name you just cannot remember.

However, life is all about balance — when does saying yes to everything have its limitations? Should you really say “yes” to everything?

The typical college experience includes a plethora of late nights going out, study crawls, movie nights and everything in between. A key facet of this weird stage of adulthood is that while you are navigating life independently for the first time — which is arduous in itself — you are also discovering your passions, routines and the person you are becoming.

All of these components are tremendously substantial to what makes college so special and the fond memories it creates.

The spontaneity of it all enhances the experience as a whole, which leads to the advice of saying yes to everything. You truly never know what could unravel just by saying the three-letter magic word.

As a freshman, some of the most meaningful “firsts” include New Student Convocation, recruitment, the first football game and Quad Day, all of which many University students would agree are definite go-to events. These are transformative in meeting those who might become your forever friends and are core memories of university.

While all this rings true, it’s equally important to note that there’s wisdom in knowing when to say “no.”

The plain and rather unglamorous truth is that as a student, one must find an equilibrium between academics, social life and independence. Attending every invite you receive is simply not feasible, and it can slowly but surely become exhausting. There is a stark difference between embracing opportunities and establishing boundaries, and learning the distinction is one of the most valuable lessons of college.

This equilibrium does not appear out of thin air; it is found through a labyrinth of trial and error. A canon event of college is convincing yourself that going to The Red Lion with friends on the eve of a big exam or presentation is no big deal, only to reap the consequences of that decision the morning after. Big mistake? Certainly. Lesson learned? Definitely.

While these lessons may be painful learning curves, they are frankly ones you must endure to understand personal limitations and when to say, “Maybe next time.”

A major theme of young adulthood is piloting these situations and determining what works best for you. Learning how much time you need to study, your favorite route to lecture and which shoes to wear on rainy days are all decisions made through personal experience. While seemingly small, these discoveries accumulate to help create routines and boundaries and make day-to-day life more manageable.

So the verdict? Perhaps a slight revision to the popular pointer.

The key is to say “yes” to windows of opportunity that genuinely add value to your life or those where the experiences outweigh the outcomes’ consequences. Be spontaneous, step outside your comfort zone and have zest for novel life experiences, but also be keenly aware of when to take a step back.

The reality of college is that the adventure isn’t exclusively about doing everything there is to offer but doing what is meaningful and empowering to you, even if that translates to staying home on a Friday night.

Elizabeth is a junior in LAS. 

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