This article mentions bereavement, illness, and medically assisted dying. 

Jennifer Grey’s poignant Instagram post about her mom, Jo Wilder’s, death is gaining traction online after she revealed that Jo died “on her own terms” just one week after being diagnosed with lung cancer.

As I am sure you know, 66-year-old Jennifer shot to fame in 1987 when she starred as Baby in the hit movie Dirty Dancing, alongside Patrick Swayze.

While her mom was a Broadway and TV star throughout the ‘50s and ‘60s, Jennifer revealed that Jo put her career on hold to raise her and her younger brother, James, who works as a chef.

Meanwhile, Jennifer’s dad is the Oscar-winning actor Joel Grey, whose work includes Cabaret and Tick, Tick… Boom!. Joel and Jo married in 1958 and split in 1982, with Joel coming out as gay in January 2015.

Taking to her Instagram page earlier this week, Jennifer shared a series of old black-and-white photos of her mom, including two that showed her with her mom as a baby.

In the post’s caption, she wrote: “My mother, Jo Wilder, passed away on July 4th at 94 — by her own choosing, on her own terms, exactly as she lived. A week earlier, she learned she had lung cancer. True to who she was, she chose grace over fear, understanding that leaving this world with dignity is an honor, not a tragedy.”

“She was gorgeous and talented — a promising young actress on the New York stage in her youth,” Jennifer went on. “She used to say she never fully answered that calling; she became a mother instead. If she’d chosen ambition over my brother and me, we never would have had the mother we had.”

“Her passion found other outlets: she was a lifelong activist, fiercely attuned to right and wrong. And for years, many people discovered her extraordinary eye through Wilder Place, her store on Melrose,” she concluded. “She was brave and deep. I love you, Mom. Thank you for showing me how to do it all, even this, with grace.”

Some of Jennifer’s celebrity friends were among those to pay tribute in the comments, with actor Tracy Pollan writing: “What a moving tribute. I am thinking of you and the radiant Jo Wilder today. I feel so blessed to have had your beautiful mother in my life. I will cherish my memories of her warmth, love, and guidance. So heartbroken she is gone, but grateful she left us with the dignity she lived with. I love you both.”

Josh Gad added: “Sending you so much love,” and Friends star Maggie Wheeler wrote: “I have been thinking of you so much. I am lucky to have known your beautiful mother through the years of our friendship. She was fierce and kind and curious.. and .. she was deeply blessed with a daughter who showed her the most unwavering love unwavering support. ❤️”

As mentioned, Jennifer’s post struck a chord on a wider scale, too, with many sharing their reaction to 94-year-old Jo’s death on a popular Reddit forum. One comment reads: “Imagine making that decision within a week of learning you were sick. What an incredibly strong person.”

“Dying of cancer is a hideous, terrifying, painful process. I do not blame anyone who receives a terminal diagnosis (especially at 94!) for choosing to bow out painlessly, on their own terms,” another wrote. Somebody else noted: “We give pets more mercy and dignity in dying than we do humans, and it is horrible. Anyone who has watched a loved one die of prolonged illness knows how horrible and cruel it is.”

One more shared: “After seeing several people I love suffer and waste away from cancer I fully support the die with dignity laws. This is so sad but I’m glad she was able to get a peaceful passing and one on her own terms,” while another commented: “This is beautiful. Death is inevitable. Choosing to die with dignity is a basic human right that we should all be afforded.”

Others opened up about their harrowing personal experiences of older loved ones dying, with one writing: “i recently watched my abuelo pass from sepsis. his dementia got so bad he was ripping his catheter out every single day to the point his entire urinary system was destroyed. he couldn't swallow. we trying to give him water and it caused him to choke. sometimes death is empathy.”

“My Uncle was bullied into chemo by his children despite being 91 at the initial diagnosis. 2 months later he died of constipation brought on by the chemo. My Aunt was diagnosed with cancer in her early 90s and never mentioned it. When she was 98, one of her sons went with her to the doctor and found out about it. She resisted the bullying and died at 102 in a beach chair on a sunny day,” somebody else commented.

Another popular comment adds: “I had 2 family members receive terminal cancer diagnoses within a year or two of each other. One ‘stuck it out’ until he passed in hospice, & the other passed via Medical Assistance in Dying (MAiD)… the difference was so so stark & really just confirmed my stance on MAiD. The one who passed in hospice withered away to nothing, & was suffering & in pain until he passed. The other had everyone important to him in town for a weekend & spent the time reminiscing & enjoying good food & wine, & then passed peacefully the following week. No suffering & he was actually able to be present & enjoy the time with his loved ones.”

As always, let me know your thoughts in the comments below, and sending love to Jennifer and her family at this difficult time ❤️

The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-800-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.